Does further explanation help to clarify statements?

Let us say that I am explaining the reason behind something:

This occurs because of a disparity in globally utilized parameters, since they are isolated from objects’ local conditions.

Here, because I am using the word disparity (meaning discrepancy or inconsistency), should I even write the second part (isolated from local conditions), or is it redundant?

This occurs because of a disparity in globally utilized parameters.

Would this be grammatically correct?

Answer

Your second form is grammatical, but “globally utilized parameters” is more verbose than necessary; “global parameters” may do.

Although there is some redundancy and inexactness in adding “since they are isolated from objects’ local conditions”, the added information is important enough to be included. But consider rewording like

This occurs because global parameters don’t reflect local conditions of objects –or– This occurs because parameters used globally don’t reflect local conditions of objects –or– This occurs because parameters used globally inaccurately represent local conditions.

Attribution
Source : Link , Question Author : niro , Answer Author : James Waldby – jwpat7

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