Having focused and worked

I am writing a letter of motivation for a master program and it begins as follow:

After having focused and worked in the field of optics and photonics throughout my physics bachelor studies, I am convinced that joining the Master of Science in X at the X-University will deepen my knowledge and broaden my perspectives in these fields.

I am not sure if “After having focused and worked” is correct in this paragraph.

Thanks for your help.

Answer

You’re right to doubt the use of ‘focused and worked’ as in your opening line, because the phrasing is awkward and a little weak. This is because:

  1. ‘Focused’ should be followed by ‘on’, not ‘in’.

  2. The use of both words is redundant. This is especially so because ‘worked’ here does not refer to work experience, which is a critical point of difference when applying to any Masters programme.

As this is the opening line of your letter of motivation, I would suggest going in strong and using only one of these words. I’d recommend something along the lines of “After having focused specifically on the field of…” or even, “After having specialised in the field of…”.

All the best for your application!

Attribution
Source : Link , Question Author : Cristina Amaya Méndez , Answer Author : karish10

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