I’m writing a poem, and I wondered if, to a native speaker, this would sound awkward (or grammatically incorrect):
Aloof the hallow things shall always be.
As a variant of
The hallow things shall always be aloof.
Is my phrase grammatically correct (for a poem)?
Speaking of whom, in Letter #171, J.R.R. Tolkien, responding to criticism of his ‘archaic’ style, wrote the following:
[ . . . ] Why deliberately ignore, refuse to use the wealth of English which leaves us a choice of styles – without any possibility of unintelligibility.
I can see no more reason for not using the much terser and more vivid ancient style, than for changing the obsolete weapons, helps, shields, hauberks into modern uniforms.
‘Helms too they chose’ is archaic. Some (wrongly) class it as an ‘inversion’, since normal order is ‘They also chose helmets’ or ‘they chose helmets too’. (Real mod. E. ‘They also picked out some helmets and round shields’.) But this is not normal order, and if mod. E. has lost the trick of putting a word desired to emphasize (for pictorial, emotional or logical reasons) into prominent first place, without addition of a lot of little ‘empty’ words (as the Chinese say), so much the worse for it.
I am sorry to find you affected by the extraordinary 20th. C. delusion that its usages per se and simply as ‘contemporary’ – irrespective of whether they are terser, more vivid (or even nobler!) – have some peculiar validity above those of all other times, so that not to use them (even when quite unsuitable in tone) is a solecism, a gaffe, a thing at which one’s friends shudder or feel hot in the collar. Shake yourself out of this parochialism of time! [emphasis mine ―tchrist] Also (not to be too donnish about it) learn to distinguish between the bogus and the genuine antique – as you would if you hoped not to be cheated by a dealer!