There’s a sentence that sounds vague for me
Going on a vacation can make me feel like I’m totally refreshed.
I think this sentence is a bit insufficient because I’m not sure if this implies that I feel like I’ve been refreshed after I’ve finished vacation or I feel like I’m being refreshed during vacation.
So, here are two sentences I think are more detailed.
Going on a vacation can make me feel like I’m totally being refreshed during vacation.
Or
Going on a vacation can make me feel like I have totally been refreshed after vacation.
I’d like to know if I’m right to do this. Or is there any sentence that you could make more detailed?
Answer
Going on a vacation can make me feel like I’m totally refreshed.
This is indeed pretty clunky; but the solution is not to keep piling more adjuncts onto the existing sentence. Start by cutting out the useless parts, the extra words people use in speech to cover the fact that they’re still sorting out what they really mean.
For instance:
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Why do you say feel like I’m totally refreshed? Like implies that you experience something similar to refreshment but you’re not really refreshed.
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Why do you say can make me feel? That implies that sometimes going on vacation refreshes you and sometimes it doesn’t.
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Why do you say going on vacation? Is it the going which refreshes you, or the vacation itself?
With all that unnecessary baggage gone you can say exactly what you mean—either
I feel totally refreshed on vacation.
OR
I come back from vacation totally refreshed.
That’s 50% more information than your original in half as many words.
Attribution
Source : Link , Question Author : jihoon , Answer Author : StoneyB on hiatus
