Is there a particular word or phrase for when you keep giving suggestions and advice to someone about a broad topic and that person keeps rejecting the ideas but won’t specifically say what they want to hear?
Example: During a brainstorming session, I offered a couple of ideas, which were dismissed. Months later, it turned out the group leader only intended to pursue one avenue. (I wish he would have said so at the meeting.)
What do you call a person who is deliberating coy about something and allowes others continue to labor under the illusion that they’re being productive when they are secretively not really interested in suggestions that don’t align with his idea?
There isn’t a single word term for how a person with a hidden agenda behaves. But your description was certainly informative and clear. We are all aware of how difficult it is to deal with people with hidden agendas.
They are difficult, confusing, frustrating, and at times quite discouraging. But so are a lot of other people for other reasons. Their motives may be complex, as well. So it cannot be that one word is set aside for this type or person.
However, you can describe the behavior. Off-putting. Discouraging. Confusing.
This kind of behavior is passive aggressive “often overtly ambivalent, wavering indecisively from one course of action to its opposite” but indirectly pushing for what they desire. Sometimes in the church, this is the only acceptable means of asserting oneself because of the self-denial that is expected. In these cases, the people are behaving passive-aggressively, not displaying a passive aggressive personality disorder.