I have finished writing a somewhat important document and had it proofread through an online service. Although I am no expert, the editor made a few changes I don’t understand. Would you please tell me whether those changes are appropriate and why?
[At some point in the past I did something] hoping to become eligible
[to do something else].[At some point in the past I did something] with the hope to be
eligible [to do something else].Ok, ‘with the hope’ sounds better, but does ‘be’ instead of ‘become’ convey the same meaning?
(…) I learnt about concepts I would later have encountered in [a
certain class].(…) I learnt about concepts I would later encounter in [a certain
class].At the time of writing, I have finished that class. Does the second version make that clear?
[Some things I achieved] make me every day more determined [to do
something else].[Some things I achieved] have meant that every day I am more
determined [to do something else].Why? I find the editor’s version more clunky…
Answer
Sentence 1. hoping to become has less prepositional phrasing which makes it a better construction in my mind.
Sentence 2. Is purely based on the tense of your writing. (Narrator version) The first uses past participle which implies that you are telling a completed story as if it is happening. (Flashback version) The second implies the story is over and you are telling it with a sense of looking back after the fact.
Sentence 3. I would say you do not need “every day”. Especially not the second version where you are using past participle (“have meant”) and present tense (“every day I am”).
I hope this helps!
Attribution
Source : Link , Question Author : zoae , Answer Author : Mray
