When we want to mean
” lessen the intensity of the feelings”
，we often use the phase
“calm someone down”.
However,a few days ago, I heard somebody say something like this
‘‘Ever after my mom passed away,my feelings of missing her often make me shed tears. The only way to relieve my feelings is frequent that shop,where we used to go for dinner. In this way, I not only recall those invaluable days but also hold my feelings back.’’
But,”relieve my feelings” really sounds odd.
So,can you tell me whether it is correct?and why？
In addition,I have asked some English native speakers and English teachers in Asia.
The people living in U.S think it sounds okay but should be used for sports,the people living in UK think it is quite unnatural,and the English teachers think relieve should not be followed by feelings and that relieve should be used for stress.
Also,I can find out the phrase in this site which even gives some reference in literature：https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/relieve+your+feelingsBut,why do some people think it is unnatural and some think it is okay？
Does the answer to this question change by locations or areas?
These series of questions about relieve feelings certainly confuse me for a long time. So, I really need someone for help.😥
Answer
Sorry, but I do not accept: “to relieve feelings”, semantically, except with a caveat (see my last paragraph).
Yes, one relieves stress, pressure, anxiety, fear etc. but not feelings. You can relieve feelings of anxiety yes. Feelings has to be followed by something that one wants to relieve or find relief from.
Feelings are “things we have” or “don’t have”. So, you can’t “relieve them”. And if you have negative feelings about some situation, you can, however, “relieve your pain, anxiety, fear, etc.” And you can “relieve feelings of pain, anxiety, sadness, etc.”
In any event, this has nothing whatsoever to do with British or American English. A person may seek to relieve types of feelings but not the feeling(s) themselves.
- to relieve the feeling of [emotion: sadness, fear, etc.]
- to relieve feelings of [emotion: sadness, fear, etc.]
But not: relieve feelings, without qualifying them.
The example cited contains the idea of “relieve feelings of missing her”. Often, people speak in ways that are coherent with speech in written text. To the person’s credit, they did qualify the feelings earlier in the speech.
This is a typical speech feature issue, where spontaneous speech patterns are not always “by the book”. One would not criticize someone who says that as given in that paragraph, but if one is writing, one would not use it like that.
Many questions on this site do not make the distinction between written speech and spontaneous speech. Spontaneous speech has features which are very different from what one would find in an essay or in more formal expression.
Finally, we use the verb relieve like this: He was relieved to hear that his paper had been accepted by the academic journal.
They were relieved to hear there had not been a storm.
In those two sentences, feelings are involved but they are not mentioned explicitly.
Attribution
Source : Link , Question Author : Chang yo , Answer Author : Lambie
